Ok let me just tell you that I am in the best place that I have ever been right now and it’s just wonderful. I have great friends, great family and great adventures. I have never felt more content. I fantasized about getting to this point, and let me tell you, it does happen. You just have to ardently want it. I feel like I am in some blissful hazy alternate reality. This is really and truly all I ever wanted.
Do u ever look at someone and you’re like how
- My Friend: "Hey want to go out to a nice sit down restaurant?"
- Me: "Oh, like McDonalds"
- Friends: "NO COURTNIE"
- Me: "But why???"
- This just happened and I am wondering why I have friends and also why doesn't McDonalds open up a nice chain of sit down restaurants???
when I scream, “HEY NOW,” your response of “this is what dreams are made of” or “you’re an all star” really determines my opinion of you
"I have been told that I dream too greatly, that my mind dwells in a fantasy rivalling even the most prestigious novelists. In preschool I used to conjure up these intricate fables, sit down my class mates in their pigtails and velcro shoes, and tell them of my Thursdays spent in castles, my Saturdays brooding dragons, and my Mondays back in time for recess and fruit gushers. “You’ve got your hands full with that one” they used to say, as if my lack there of limitations and excitement for life were crippling. I was as fierce then as I am now, all my teacher saw that. A 7 year old Courtnie would have told you the same thing I tell you today; I am going to be a lawyer. Not an ounce of uncertainty to my voice. Not a possibly or an if or a lukewarm maybe. The word ‘if’ is toxic. I never let it slip through my tongue because I set my own limitations. And if I tell myself ‘if’, then I am succumbing to the possibility that I don’t have what it takes, that I am doubting my very self. But we are taught on the knees of kindergarten teachers that they sky wasn’t the limit for Jack and the bean stalk, so why should it be mine?"
So yes I am terrified right now, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I have 10 days to prepare. But I’ve never been more ready for my life to begin. The question is are you really not ready, or are you just scared? There is a difference. I think that if our dreams don’t scare us, they’re not big enough.